


On My Knees I Think Clearer

by Nouveau_Monday



Series: Magnets [3]
Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M, Magnets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 19:22:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16125068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nouveau_Monday/pseuds/Nouveau_Monday
Summary: All things are good when Noah finally gets what he wants.





	On My Knees I Think Clearer

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: through Valentine's Day 2008 ... so no one should have to worry.
> 
> Disclaimer: If I wrote for ATWT, this is what we all would have seen on Friday the 15th of February.
> 
> Notes: This story follows DIRECTLY on the heels of Yeah ... Like *That*  
>  I have no idea what the song Chocolate by Snow Patrol is about, but that's where I got the title. It spoke to me, and umm, apparently Noah.

**part one or sort of part three**  
Noah jumped at the hiss of the shower, sighed as the hot water pelted his back. Old buildings without water-saver showers were the best. The water pressure was amazing. The noise loud enough to drown out his own thoughts almost. He grabbed the complimentary soap from the side of the tub and began to wash his stomach. Damn! When had Luke done that? Noah counted at least a handful of hickeys on his skin. He remembered the one on his hip, one above his right nipple, but the others? He dripped water into his eyes as he laughed and shook his head.

"Laughing is good. I like you laughing. It makes you seem more awake." Luke pulled back the curtain and entered the shower.

"Hey!" Noah hunched over, hid himself.

"Tell me you aren't hiding from me now, Noah?" Luke stepped forward.

"Maybe I am? What of it?" He stepped under the stream of water, choked on his own startled inhale, froze at Luke's hands on his.

"Well stop it. You're wet, and warm, and hot, and I'm going to stop now because I'm babbling again." Luke pried at Noah's fingers. "Give me the soap. I'll do your back."

Noah coughed again. Every shower scene from every porno he'd ever watched smashed together behind his eyelids. The steam might be coming from him more than the hot water at this point. "Umm, okay." He covered Luke's hand in his, holding it there longer than strictly necessary, before releasing the soap.

"Trade positions with me? You under the spray won't work." Luke tugged Noah forward.

Noah tried to sidestep, but he was startled and the tub wasn't huge. They tangled in each other's limbs. He bit his lip, wrapped his arms around Luke, tugged him closer. "You anywhere works for me." He nuzzled into Luke's neck, licked the warm water off his earlobe. "You everywhere works right now." He wanted on his knees right then, the feel of his boyfriend in his mouth and the warm water a perfect background and curtain to shut everything out but the taste of Luke on his tongue.

Luke laughed. "I thought you were tired?" He rotated them around so he was under the water.

"I was?" Noah grinned. "Guess I got distracted." Water rushed over his fingers, a contrast to the solid feel of Luke's ass under his hands. He pulled Luke closer, let one of his fingers zigzag down his spine. Instead of stopping, he held his breath and continued exploring, his finger slid further and brushed into the crack of his boyfriend's ass. Noah pinned Luke under his gaze as his finger moved, lightly slipped around the hole he hadn't yet seen. He was rewarded with a gasp and a thrust of Luke's hips. Noah raised an eyebrow. "Definitely distracted."

"You don't feel distracted." Luke swallowed. "You feel, umm, focused?"

"Maybe I am? Is that?" Noah shifted his hands to Luke's hips. "Is focused bad?"

"No! No! Not at all." He reached to kiss Noah's forehead. "I want you to touch me, want you to fuck me until I can't walk. Remember? I have all these fantasies." He shifted to put Noah's hands where they had been and then pulled them away. "You can touch me all the time, but later. Right now, I want to wash your back. Turn around, Mayer, and stop distracting me from my goal."

Noah bit the inside of his cheek. Jesus, Luke insisting that he do something just - he rolled his eyes - worked. He turned, braced his legs, crossed his arms against the tile and rested his head forward. Breathe, Noah. Remember to breathe.

*****

Luke sucked his tongue between his teeth and tightened his grip on the soap. One request and Noah complied. How hot was that? He tipped the spray to coat Noah's back, grinning at the shiver that coursed down his back to his thighs. God, he had great thighs. And a great back. And really, now that he knew what Noah wanted, Luke spent some time admiring his boyfriend's incredible ass. Biting it probably wouldn't be the best thing to do right now, but man it was tempting. The curve of his hip, the swell below his lower back. Much like Noah's abdomen, that pale skin begged to be marred, bruised, branded as Luke's and Luke's alone. 

When had he become so possessive? He skidded soap across Noah's shoulder blades. Did it matter? He rubbed his thumbs along Noah's spine, admired the shift of muscles under his fingers. He painted filmy bubble designs across hips and sides and more skin than he knew was possible. Each whimper or sigh that escaped Noah's mouth drove Luke forward. His motions became less graceful, more urgent. He could see Noah's muscles tensing and the need to bite rose in Luke's jaw, pooled in his throat.

Luke re-adjusted the shower nozzle to wash off all remnants of soap. He pressed forward to tongue Noah's neck, lap at his shoulder, suck at the skin between shoulder blade and spine. The bitter sweet of perfume failed to deter him from anything other than pouring on more water. His hands fit perfectly over Noah's sides, thumbs resting at the top of his ass, fingers splayed across his hips onto his thighs. Luke had control over how Noah moved, where he shifted. "Want you so much. Don't even think I knew I could want you so much." He worried Noah's ear between his teeth. "It's this physical pain almost, this right now, please, bend him over, take him, now, now, now. I've been tied up in stupid knots since you said something." 

He rubbed his chest against Noah's back, felt his own nipples harden. He slipped his soapy fingers forward to cover Noah's dick. "And you want me to do this, Noah? You're sure?" He cradled his fingers around Noah, purred at the reaction his hands received. "I don't want to hurt you, don't want you to be afraid of me."

Noah shook his head, barely made out, "You could never, Luke. And, oh God, would never be afraid of you." He bit at his own arm. "Never been afraid of you."

Luke laughed, stopped his hand. "Never?" He frowned and moved away from the warm hollow of Noah's back. "Really?"

Noah shook his head again. "Never."

"Not even when ..."

*****

And Noah got it all of a sudden, got why Luke had stopped jacking him, got why he was no longer covered by the most incredible blanket of Snyder goodness. He reached behind him until he found Luke's hands, yanked them around him, forcing Luke against his back hard, and shoving himself into the tile more aggressively than intended. Shit, that hurt.

"Jesus, why did you do that? Are you okay?" Luke attempted to release himself.

"No, I'm fucking not okay. I'm an idiot, but you're a bigger one." Noah altered his grip so he had both of Luke's hands in one of his. He rubbed his forehead with the other, refused to look at his boyfriend. "I'll need some aspirin once we're out of the shower. Not yet, Luke."

"But ..."

"No. I don't know how many times I can repeat this, and it's not that I don't want to tell you over and over again, but I just," he swallowed. "I just can't." His throat felt constricted. The water masked the sweat on his palms. He wanted to hurl, but refused to give in. Noah stared at the tile, white square after white square as far as he could see, until his eyes blurred. He ignored the sting and told himself it was only soap in his eyes. "I have never, ever been afraid of you. I couldn't deal with you, couldn't deal with how I felt about you, scared shitless about what my dad was going to say or do. In my whole entire fucking life, I have been waiting for you, even when I didn't know it, didn't want to know it, whatever." 

He pressed his forehead to the tile, mixed feeling of pain and solid wall disorienting him all the more. Noah adjusted his arms until Luke was nestled against him. He could feel himself crying for thesecond damned time that night and still. His breath caught. His heart pounded. Luke was so close, pressed up against him so perfectly. Noah didn't know what his moan meant as he slid his body to center Luke's against his better. "Here's what I know, and please listen carefully Luke Snyder. All I know is that I was waiting for you, and then you found me. You found me, and you continue to find me every time. Even when you don't want to. I'm not supposed to need someone, not supposed to want anyone. I'm supposed to be able to be self sufficient, take care of myself at all times and always be a man." He grew dizzy at his father's words spilling from his lips. "Maybe I'm not supposed to get lost or be found, but you make it possible. You make everything so goddamned better and -" Noah twisted his hips, felt Luke's erection rubbing against his ass. He peeled his forehead away, looked over his shoulder, released Luke's hands. "If you don't fuck me soon I might explode. Just," he pushed back, thrilled as Luke's hands steadied themselves on his hips. "Never." He rocked backward, whimpered as Luke's left hand slid from his hip to his ass, while the other one move forward to steady against his abdomen. "Never been afraid of anything except the possibility that I may well die before you're in me." He placed a partial bit of soap in the hand placed against his stomach. "Please Luke, want you so much I nearly gave myself a concussion. I'll beg more later, promise, but right now, god, please ..."

*****

Luke squeezed the soap between his fingers. He couldn't process Noah's words, wanted to hold him as he spat out that god awful crap the Colonel had fed him as a kid. But now was not the time. When the most beautiful man you've ever seen is handing you soap and grinding against you, there's really only one smart options. He coated his fingers in soap, ignored that they might be shaking. He dipped his fingers along Noah's ass, thought of all the times he'd admired it, grabbed it, just fucking wanted it. 

He stared at Noah's ears, watched them burning, heard the shallow sounds of them both barely breathing. Now or never, right? Hadn't he thought that earlier? His fingertips moved carefully, circling the soft skin, testing pressure, listening to the noises Noah made. I'll beg more later whispered in his ears. "No more laters, Noah. Right now." Luke latched his teeth into the hollow between Noah's neck and his shoulder, rolled his tongue over the spot and sucked the skin between his teeth until he knew it would bruise. He pushed forward against Noah's virgin ass, contemplated dying as his finger felt the tight heat, prayed he wouldn't come right then and there. They both stopped breathing, but almost as soon, both were panting. All the time Luke gently moved his finger in and out, never past the first knuckle.

He braced himself forward when he felt Noah's knees buckle, switched his mouth from vacuum suction to careful kisses. He shifted his hand so it wrapped around his boyfriend's stomach for balance. He wanted to ask, wanted to wonder, wanted to bury himself inside Noah until Noah could taste him, but instead Luke held him. He changed his finger from in-out to a slow circle and listened for any cue that it was good.

Noah's hips shoving backward was a pretty clear yes.

"God Noah, you're, there aren't words, you're amazing." He tongued his way lower and nipped at his side. He paused, nipped again, and raised his eyebrow at Noah's noises. His boyfriend definitely giggled. Almost killed the mood, but it was so damned cute. Luke switched tactics. He sucked hard against that silk pale skin, sullied it a beautiful purple. On Noah's gasp, he slipped a second finger into him. This time both digits slid in further.

Noah's back arched. His hands reached back, clutched so tightly against Luke he was sure they would leave marks.

Luke froze. "Shit, too much?"

Noah shook his head, leaned back against Luke. "Not enough." He shivered. "I'm so close."

Luke realized the water was getting cold behind them, and he wanted to watch Noah not just feel him. "Would you kill me if I wanted us to move? I really, really want to see you when you come."

 

*****

 

He had options. He could whimper, or whine, or cry like he always seemed to do when Luke touched him, but none of those reactions would get him where he ultimately wanted to be. He snorted. Okay, where he wanted Luke to be.

"Noah?" The shyness in Luke's voice battled against the solid feel of his fingers inside Noah.

"I'm not sure I can move, Luke. My body is, well, hmm, umm ..." How could he phrase this? "Otherwise preoccupied. Moving might take more finesse than I can muster." Nice. That sounded all logical and polite and didn't include the phrase, Fuck me now, nor did it include him shoving himself back against Luke's fingers and coming until he couldn't see, well, straight. He choked on another laugh. Maybe he'd lost too much oxygen? Maybe every last drop of blood was in fact in his dick? That would account for the not being able to move and the whole dick-being-hard-enough-to-hammer-railroad-spikes.

"Noah?" Luke's hand began to move back.

"Oh god, just, jesus, umm, gimme a sec? Can't feel my knees. I think I lost them somewhere between you rinsing my back and shoving your fingers in me. They definitely aren't in anyway attached to my legs." He stared down toward his feet. "I see them. Just can't move them exactly."

This time Luke laughed. Noah wondered if Luke's dick was depriving Luke of brain power also? "We should do this right, Noah. Not in a shower rapidly running out of warm water with you practically concussed against the tile. So I'm just gonna ..." He slipped his fingers out.

Noah sighed, trapped in the emptiness of Luke not being there. Somehow the knees he couldn't feel had managed to go even weaker. He wasn't clear on how he knew that. Maybe because all that held him was his nails clawing at the wall and the strength of Luke's legs. Fuck. Luke's legs. How could he be so stupid? They couldn't hold him. They only barely held Luke without the cane in the last few weeks. He forced his body forward, shuddering at the ouch of erection against tile.

"Water's off," Luke whispered. His fingers ran over Noah's back. "Going to grab towels."

Noah identified the swish of the curtain being drawn. The draft of cold air stirred shivers on his skin, but was replaced by the rough warmth of a well bleached towel. His body was on overload, pain and pleasure melding into one. The shivers he got as Luke dried him off were definitely not from the cold, but instead from Luke's mouth whispering obscene promises.

 

*****  
 **part two or sorta part four**

 

"... The feeling of being inside you. So incredible. Never thought we'd get here. Want to lick you open, fuck you 'til we're both blind. Want to swallow you down as you come in my mouth." Luke rubbed around Noah's ankles, up his legs, up his sides. He wouldn't, couldn't stay on any one patch of skin too long or they might never make it out of the bathroom. Questions about locker room sex notwithstanding, he didn't want to screw Noah in a damned stall. The barn and a fresh horse stall, that was one thing, but a bathroom at the Lakeview. Yeah. Not so much. He didn't even know everything he was saying, but he knew it was true. He had surpassed desire forever ago, urgency vanishing shortly in its wake. This was beyond any of that, it was need, and oh god, and yesterday, forever, whenever, now now now, all rolled into one overwhelming something he couldn't describe. "Bed, now," Luke managed to growl out.

"Yes." Noah stumbled, blushed.

"I got you." And he did. Luke waited until Noah was standing, held his breath at the vision of strength made weak before him. Now, now, now drummed louder inside him, banging at his heart.

"Always." If Luke hadn't had his head against Noah's shoulder, he might have missed it. Noah headed into the main part of the room.

Luke swiped enough water off him to not soak the wall to wall carpeting. He wrapped the towel around his waist, brushed his hair from his eyes. His tongue swelled at the sight of Noah laying on the bed. He was every fucking fantasy Luke had never allowed himself to have since he knew he was gay. He never thought there would really be a tall, dark and handsome man waiting for him, wanting him, needing him. He shuddered. His eyes were nearly crossed with need and goddamn but his dick hurt. "So," he coughed. "As the mastermind behind this, you brought music and water. I think I saw food there. Did you bring anything else?" He stood at the bottom of the bed, positioned himself almost touching Noah's feet.

Noah nodded, his whole body adorably pink. "I didn't know what would happen, but I wanted to be prepared in case ... In case I could tell you. In case you wanted to know." He gestured at the small black gym bag somehow isolated from the other bags. "In there."

Luke grabbed for the bag. His head spun as he stood back up. "Wait. You weren't going to tell me?" He caught the canvas material before it slithered off the bed. "You, you," he sputtered. "Noah!"

Noah shifted up the bed, pulled himself up on his elbows. "What?"

"What do you mean in case you could tell me or in case I wanted to know? There was a chance you wouldn't?" Luke's heart pounded. He crawled on the bed, shoved Noah's legs apart, knelt between them. Could he claim he accidentally slipped and fell, mouth first, on Noah's dick? He shook his head, rested his hands on Noah's thighs. "You're going to be the death of me."

"Me? I'm going to be the death of you? Are you kidding?" Noah slid back, sat up more. Luke might drown in the blue confusion of Noah's eyes, more likely he'd die from his own desire.

"Yes you, and no I'm not kidding." Before Luke said something stupid, what he didn't know, but something, he unzipped the bag. Two boxes of condoms, three kinds of lube. Noah was the most adorably optimistic boyscout. He kept his head in the bag, hands busy. "Maybe it's not such a big secret that I didn't see myself as a top. You're taller, stronger, hotter." He shrugged. "And okay, I guess I figured pitching for easier than catching, or less scary, or something, and thought I'd, umm, catch first?" Luke shrugged, face burning fire-roasted, tomato red. He pulled out one of the bottles of lube - blue and green with Wet written on the side in big letters - and placed it on the bed. Condoms followed, a strip of them from one of the boxes he had shredded trying to open.

Noah coughed. "You thought wrong?" His voice cracked.

"Yeah, guess I did."

They both stared at the objects resting next to Noah's hip. Four condoms, individually sealed. Enough lube for, well, definitely for the night, plus more in the bag. All would be moot if they both died from hyperventilating. That would be stupid. Luke was emphatically not going to die a virgin. He dragged his eyes up to Noah's, and less than casually brushed the bag to the floor. He yanked the towel from around his waist and dropped it somewhere off the side. 

No words. No questions. No air. Fuck. Luke pounced forward, a hand on either side of Noah's head and met his surprised gasp with his own desperate tongue. He grabbed at Noah's hair with one hand, and kept balance with the other. Noah's teeth, the roof of his mouth, every dip and swell of his mouth, it tasted somewhat of salt and Luke, which could have thrown him off if it wasn't so fucking hot.

He could feel their dicks against each other. Each touch awoke the addictive urge for more. Luke rocked his hips forward, pulled at Noah's hair. "You ready?"

Noah licked into Luke's mouth, sucked on his tongue. "Have been for the last six weeks."

That was all the answer Luke needed.

 

*****

Noah tightened his jaw as their mouths parted. He leaned forward to not break contact, but Luke shook his head. Noah reached to brush the blonde hair from in front of Luke's eyes. Iris and pupil melted into blown out delight and concentration. He watched the long, writer's fingers shake as they tore at a condom wrapper. Luke left it in the packaging, placed it near Noah's elbow, popped the top on the bottle.

Noah shuddered as the thick clear liquid poured over Luke's fingers. Now that he knew what they could do barely touching him with just enough soap to make things sticky, his calves tightened but his hips rolled open. 

Luke rubbed the lube between two fingers and his thumb, seemingly mesmerized. "Pass me a pillow?"

Noah didn't need to ask, stuck it under his ass, tipped himself up for easier access. He swallowed. "Begging here, seriously." Noah gave up on subtlety. Hell, when you get your first blowjob bound up in restraints, probably subtlety was overrated anyway. He pulled Luke's hand to his dick, then pushed it down lower to his balls. "Need you."

*****

Luke took the hint. He palmed Noah's dick for a moment, twirled sticky fingers around his testicles, slid behind them to find Noah already pushing forward. "You're so beautiful."

"Shut up. Am not, that's you." Noah covered his head with his hands.

"No," Luke slipped the tiniest tip of his finger into Noah. "Trust me." He pushed further, felt tight muscle give beneath timid pressure. "That's you." He groaned. "You feel ... god .. amazing, Noah."

Noah gripped at the pillow, pressed his hips forward. "More."

"Supposed to go slow. I don't want to hurt you."

Noah groaned. "More."

Luke tightened the hand he had on his own thigh. Each request pulled pre-come from his dick and sent fireworks through his nervous system. "Going to ..." He pulled back, added another fingers, held his breath. The tight ring squeezed his fingers, and jesus, Noah expected him to get his dick there without coming immediately? Fuck. That would suck. Or, you know, not. Whatever. Deep breaths. He moved his hand from his thigh to Noah's stomach. The push and pull of Noah's breath highlighted every beautiful bruise. Luke tried to count them to distract himself, but the drool under his tongue and the yearning in his jaw to add to the picture failed to ease the throb in his testicles. He bit his lip and crept his fingers forward, brushed them over ... "Holy shit."

Noah's back was bent. The cry from between his teeth the hottest thing Luke had ever heard. Noah had shoved himself completely onto Luke's hand, burying his fingers inside him. Luke listened to Noah panting, fucking whimpering, and he couldn't help but rub over that spot again. Jesus, that almost hurt his fingers! 

Luke pulled back, added more lube. "One more, baby. One more and then I gotta ... I'm not going to make it."

"You aren't?" Noah fisted the blankets. 

His dick was darker than Luke had seen before, and so slick at the head. Fuck. He wanted to suck Noah so badly. Three fingers in and there was no way ever in a million years that he would make it more than one stupid second inside Noah's ass. He opened his fingers slightly, tried to stretch him. Noah winced and Luke froze. "Did I? Are you?"

"Trying. Really. Hard. Not. To. Come. Luke." Noah's tongue stuck out slightly, as he bit at it. "Condom. Now." He managed to get out.

 

Luke remained frozen. Which was so not okay. In between panting and dying and every amazing, incredible, indescribable sensation known to man, Noah fumbled for the condom. He sat up the best he could, which wasn't saying much with three fingers buried in his ass and his dick potentially going to spontaneously combust. "Let me, if you can't."

And like he knew what he was doing, Noah rolled the condom onto Luke easily. That's when he was sure it was going to be perfect. His breath eased and every ounce of tension melted. Noah tugged once at Luke's dick, but Luke stopped him. "Never going to make it, if you do that."

Noah watched Luke remove his fingers, again felt momentarily swamped with emptiness. But then he heard the snap of the bottle and watched Luke drip lube into his palm. Everything slowed down, as Luke cupped his ass. He watched Luke's hand coat the condom in glossy liquid, and then couldn't do anything but fall backward into the perfect instant of pain and desire and ohmygodohmygodohmygodyesrightnowharderharderfuckdon't moveohmygodohmygodohmygod.

"Don't move, Luke."

"Can't move, Noah." Luke captured Noah's legs, shifted them against him.

"Fuck, you moved."

"Moved you," Luke panted. "Not me. That's different."

Noah canted his hips. "Now you have to move. God, please." And Noah rocked himself against Luke, grabbed for his hands, laced his fingers against his. "Shit, need you so much, Luke."

"You too, Noah." Luke's eyes closed. His head tipped back. "So close. So very close."

"Luke," Noah swallowed hard. "Look at me. You said you wanted to watch when I -" He rolled his hips around his boyfriend and found that everything in porn about prostates was understated compared to what he felt. "Fuck me, Luke, right now." He wrapped his legs tighter around Luke and pulled him forward. "Right the fuck now."

Noah met Luke's eyes and locked on them, felt the shift as Luke went from frozen to grinding against him, deeper than he thought possible. 

"You feel so good. I tried the alphabet backward, but couldn't figure out what came after Y." Luke's shook one hand free and jacked Noah's dick. "Now, Noah. Really now."

"Oh god, yes!" And Noah couldn't breathe, was crying, laughing, coming so hard he nearly shoved Luke off the bed. "Luke, Luke, Luke" was all he could manage. He could feel each responding throb inside him, tightened reflexively and knew the moment Luke gave in and came. "God, Luke."

 

*****

"Noah," Luke's voice quaked. He fell forward onto Noah's mouth, dove into it, pressed himself even deeper into the insane heat of his Noah's ass. "Never thought, never knew, oh my god," he eventually managed.

"Yeah." Luke watched Noah's muscles tighten.

"Am I? Hell. Did I hurt you?"

"Luke, no, god no, just really sensitive is all." Noah petted his hair and Luke felt himself purring. He lapped at the sweat on Noah's neck. "That was..." He had no words.

"I can't believe you let me..." Luke held the condom against his softening dick, as he fought rival urges to pull out and push closer, bury himself into Noah until they couldn't ever be separated. Maybe he shouldn't move? He didn't want to hurt his boyfriend.

Noah's skin stuck to his with sweat and come and lube as well. Shower number two coming up. Mmm ... shower time. Minus the concussion, plus water safe lube. Luke's toes curled. The attempt to peel them apart made Noah cringe.

"Need you to -" Noah bit his lip, held Luke tight against him. "You have to, umm, move, but I don't want you to, move, I mean, don't want you to move ever. And, god, just, I don't know what I want you to do, but don't leave me."

Luke's stomach clenched. Simple words, but stupid perfect. He kissed Noah's forehead. "Not gonna leave you, just going to clean us up a little. I'll be right back."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely. Only, don't move for a moment." Luke grabbed at the condom once more and slid out of Noah as gently as possibly. He whispered apologies the entire time. What do you do with a used rubber? He tied it off, hoping that was right, and stumbled toward the bathroom to find a trashcan. His legs hurt, damn they burned. He smiled. It was a good burn, a pain he wouldn't change for anything.

"Luke? Where'd you go?"

"On my way back." Luke snagged a washcloth and soaked it in hot water. He paused in the door frame to stare at Noah. Long arms, long legs, all with a flush of pink. He looked relaxed, the stress and tension of the last months nowhere on his deliciously loose and limber body. "Want you all over again."

Noah rolled to his side. "Then come back to bed."

"You're awful pushy for someone who -" Luke choked on his own words, and his cheeks singed with embarrassment. There was no way to delicately say -

"- Just got fucked up the ass?"

Jesus. At least he hadn't said it. "Well, now that you mention it. Umm, yeah?" Luke squeaked at the drip of water that landed on his foot. "I brought a washcloth." He held it up like a trophy and rolled his eyes. He sounded dumber than a box of rocks. "We should clean up a little, or something."

"Cleaning up sounds good. Or something sounds better. Especially if it includes us curled up and sleeping." Noah gestured toward the bed.

"You never did get your nap." Luke climbed onto the bed. He sat next to Noah and ran circles over his abdomen, hips, ribs. His fingers replaced the washcloth as he touched each hickey. "I can't believe you let me mark you up like this. I don't think I knew I'd left so many," he whispered.

"Hey. Stop worrying." Noah put a hand over Luke's and squeezed. "I liked it. A lot. Okay? A really big lot. Promise. Now let's get you clean and snuggle." Noah's hands were equal parts efficient and tender against Luke's butterfly-filled stomach. "All good?"

"Perfect."

*****

Noah sighed. He felt incredible, way more so than he had counted on. "Come to bed, Luke." He pulled at the bedspread. The colors were starting to grow on him. A little. If he squinted. And stared at Luke lying naked on top of it. The mattress underneath and the sheets made up for any visual atrocities that may have occurred. "Can't we just stay here forever?" He yawned.

"They are great beds." Luke grabbed the pillow that was until moments ago still under Noah. "We'll just put this one over there." He placed it on top of the black gym bag.

"Good." Noah yawned again. "Idea." He held out his arms. "Now get over here, please." He laughed as the air collapsed out of his lungs. Being tackled by a warm and naked Luke Snyder rated way higher than being tackled by a dressed one. "Love you so much." He tucked Luke's hair behind his ears, marveled at the softness of it. He feathered kisses over that gorgeous mouth, sad that he was too tired to kiss it sloppy wet like he wanted.

"Love you too." Luke curled himself into Noah's side with Noah's arms still around him. "Can you get the light?"

"Sure." He fumbled for the bedside table and found the switch, blinked at the darkness that enveloped them. Noah buried his nose in the nape of Luke's neck. "You smell good." He nibbled at his ear. "Taste good too."

"Thought you were sleepy, Noah?"

"I am, but I also need to know, that this, what we did, what you did, that it was okay for you." Noah inserted one of his legs between Luke's and ran a nervous hand across his stomach. "I don't ever want you to do something you don't want to do."

Luke wrapped his foot around Noah's. "If it was okay for me? For real, Noah? I could have stayed inside you forever if I hadn't been too busy coming like I was thirteen all over again. And that was while trying to be gentle to you. I mean, you had the harder part of this."

"No pun intended." Noah tickled at Luke's ribs. "Next time you don't have to be so gentle. Rough," he coughed. "I liked near the end, when you really lost control and just," he flushed. He could talk about this. If he could have sex, he should be able to freaking talk about it. What was wrong with him? He breathed. "I liked it harder, liked feeling you inside me like that." One big breath to admit it, but he had. And Luke hadn't decked him or thought he was a freak. "Is that weird?"

Luke pressed his back closer to Noah's chest. "It's not weird. It's hot. I've never known anyone but you, never wanted anyone like I want you. Sleep now. We'll both still be here when we wake up and we have more time. If you ask nicely, I'll do it again. You can see how amazing you really are."

Noah shuddered at the feel of Luke's teeth scraping his palm, tongue sucking his fingers. His dick twitched, wanted to revive, wanted to nestle into the warmth of Luke's skin. "Don't do that." He bit Luke's shoulder. "Sleep." Noah listened for Luke's breathing to even. The fingers around his relaxed, slipped. He gave into slumber at the gentle sound of Luke snoring.

*****

His phone jolted him awake. "What the - ? Where are - ?" He rubbed his eyes. "What the hell time is it? Noah?" He bumped at Noah's chest a bit. "Noah, my cell phone's ringing. Gotta get it." He laughed at the disoriented grunt of his boyfriend. "Get the light, would you? Gotta find my pants." There was a phrase he hadn't expected to be saying to Noah any time soon. The light hurt his eyes as Noah made contact with the switch. "Thanks, I think." 

He lurched off the bed toward the ringtone he now officially hated. "Hey Dad. What's up? Is everything alright? Did something happen to mom?" Luke blinked at the time. It was barely eleven and still Valentine's Day. "Dad, no, no it's fine. It's Valentine's Day, in case you forgot. Noah and I are - yes, yes, Dad, of course we are -" He ran his hand through his hair. How had he managed to acquire bedhead during a nap? "No don't put Mom on the -" He sighed. "Hi Mom. We're fine, honest. Noah's a perfect - yes, yes, Mom, of course we're -" He shook his head. "I'm going to hang up now. I love you both. Stop worrying about me and remember that it's Valentine's Day, kay? I'll, well, I'll be back after school tomorrow. Tomorrow, that's right, yes, we are... Mom, Dad, stop! God, yes. I'm hanging up now. I love you. Love you too, and the girls and Ethan. Good night now. We'll be home in time for evening chores. Yes, okay, yes, we'll be safe. Hanging up now. For real this time." Luke closed his phone.

"That was subtle."

"Well you know us Snyders, we're famous for it." Luke ran a hand through his hair. "My parents say hello."

"Uh huh, sure they do. Right after they made sure I hadn't kidnapped you and dragged you off into some weird gay bareback cult."

Luke raised his eyebrow. "Now wait a minute, who's the one who's been watching porn? Gay barebacking cults? That sounds kinky in a bad, unsafe way."

"Yeah." Noah wrinkled his nose. "Not the kind of kink I'm looking for."

No one should be able to make a one syllable work - kink - sound so fucking pornographic. "But you're looking for some kind?"

"Says the guy who bound me down with medical tubing and tied my wrists in my own shirt."

Luke had the decency to blush. "Yeah well, desperate times call for desperate measures and all that." He rubbed Noah's stomach, dipped a finger into his navel. "Don't distract me. It won't work. Talk to me about this kink of yours."

"I don't have any."

"I don't believe you."

"Luke, it's true." Noah sat up. "Just about anything I could imagine happening ... it did ... earlier tonight." He bit at his thumb, disorienting Luke.

"Stop that." Luke curved his pinky into Noah's and tugged his hand away. "No biting at your thumb. Makes me all hot and bothered." Noah's mouth. Luke's dick in Noah's mouth. Luke fucking himself into Noah's mouth. Luke streaming come into Noah's mouth. Who knew spontaneous blue balls existed? He shivered.

"Want to put something different in my mouth?"

Holy shit. Luke was thirty seconds away from coming for a third time, and Noah hadn't even touched him. Alphabet backwards, quickly. Z ... Y ... X ... w? Was w next? How could he remember when Noah's fingers ran along his chest and ... fuck ... that mouth on his nipple. He groaned, not even caring if he sounded like he was dying. Maybe he was. At least a little bit.

"I have a confession," Noah whispered. "There's one more part to what I wanted. The vision I use to jerk off didn't come close to the real thing with you in me, but the other part, I sorta know."

"There's parts to this fantasy? Your fantasies come in acts?" Luke chewed at the inside of his cheek. Z ... Y ... X ... W. Yep, W definitely came next. But he would be coming next if Noah kept touching him.

Noah laughed. "Never thought of it that way, but I guess so." He snuggled up to Luke's chest. "Want me to tell you or show you?"

"Nggghnh." Noah had trailed a finger across Luke's dick and oh god, fuck, right now. "Show me."

*****

"Wait here a moment." Noah pressed his hand, warm and so fucking wanting, against Luke's chest. Okay, ow. Ow. Ow a lot. Shit. Hadn't factored in the ouch factor of being plowed. Christ. He hobbled to the bathroom, turned on the shower. Blessed hot water again. "Ready?"

"Ready for what?" Luke sounded confused.

"For part two. Come on. You're an integral part of this, even if I'm normally just jerking off solo." Noah stepped into the water, positioned himself near the water and waited. The spray felt good on his back, his legs. Any lingering pain faded to a dull memory under the pressure.

"Where do you want me?" Luke stood outside the curtain. "You really jerk off to the idea of you and me in the shower?"

Noah shrugged, swiped water from his face. "Want you near the wall. Your shower's really inspirational. Especially knowing your bedroom's on the other side of the wall. I can't help myself. Especially since I New Year's. Once I knew what I was missing, all bets were off."

"Oh." Luke sucked at his lip. "I do too. I mean, the shower. Thinking of you all wet, sliding against me accidentally. The feel of the wood against my back. Water's sorta done it for me ever since then."

Noah saw the way Luke's hands flattened against the tile as he remembered that day. He had great hands, really strong. "Maybe I can add another reason for water to work so well?" He met Luke's eyes. "Will you let me?"

"Yes. Whatever it is, yes."

Permission made everything hotter. The breathy, desperate way Luke growled. His voice so much lower as he granted Noah's desire. And damn if Noah didn't desire in full technicolor detail. He sank to his knees and smiled at Luke's gasp. "Want you so much." Noah licked a stripe across Luke's stomach, dipped his tongue into his navel, bit his hip. The water pounded on his back and everything dissolved around him as he focused.

Noah nuzzled at Luke's thighs, mouthed at the softest point below his hipbones where the hair on his leg didn't grow. He grew bolder at every little gasp and moan, brave enough to move to Luke's balls, roll his tongue around them while he pressed Luke against the wall. Noah hummed, hoping Luke understood the vibrations as the purr they were. It was hard to say anything with your mouth full and worried about teeth.

Luke's hands shifted to Noah's shoulders, squeezing.

Good sign, damned good sign. Noah rubbed his head against Luke's hands. He tongued up the underside of his boyfriend's dick, rounded his lips over his teeth and covered the crown. That first taste of Luke was everything he ever needed. He squeezed Luke's hips. Noah went further, followed the curves of Luke, almost to the base. Luke's dick hit the back of Noah's throat, awakening his gag reflex. His eyes watered. No way. He'd practiced on vegetables for the last six weeks. No fucking way he was going to deep throat a cucumber and not Luke. 

What had he figured out? Fuck, Noah couldn't remember anything. Wait, yes, there was something. He leaned back on his calves, sat on his feet, forced himself closer to the ground, let his jaw relax more. He pulled back until Luke's dick nearly fell from his mouth and then practically slammed himself forward. Nothing but net! Noah's nose tickled against pubic hair. He could feel Luke's erection past any point of gagging, tagging the back of his mouth. Out and in, Noah rotated his position slightly, but kept coming back to wanting Luke as far down his throat as possible.

The water drowned out everything. Noah zeroed in on this need. He didn't remember moving Luke's hands, and maybe he hadn't, but all of a sudden they were threaded in Noah's hair pulling at his head, urging him forward. It was the signal Noah had been waiting for to release Luke's hips. On the next backward motion he pulled off entirely, lost himself in Luke's desperate sounds. "Want you to fuck my mouth Luke, like you did the first time. Want to suck you until you come down my throat." He lapped over the pre-come at the top of Luke's dick, before moving to apply pressure under the head.

"Oh. Oh Jesus." Luke froze. Again.

"Now, Luke. Fuck me now." And so maybe Noah felt a bit like a broken record, repeating truly unoriginal words. Didn't matter. What mattered was that it fucking worked. Luke began to move. Shyly at first. Slowly. But Noah slid his hands around to grab at Luke's ass, and the message was broadcast loud and clear. Fingers tightened in Noah's hair. And yeah, he definitely liked it too much. Each pull scorched directly into his dick. He was maybe going to come spontaneously as Luke's dick somehow managed to increase in size and force.

Noah slid his hand into the small of Luke's back. The feel of his hand splayed over Luke somehow possessive, branding him. Mine, he thought. All Mine. He swallowed, hummed around Luke's dick like the instructions online had suggested. And then Luke was thrusting harder, blocking Noah's airway, making him see dizzy stars behind his eyelids.

"No- oh god- Noah." Luke's chest heaved. His fingers cupped at Noah's scalp, fisted in his hair. "Going to, fuck, right, oh god, Noah, Noah, now, Noah, now, now, Noah, nnnnnnghgh, now." And then he was coming in sheets, fucking waves in Noah's mouth, drowing every sense within him, but one. He needed to possess as well as be possessed, own and be owned, and as Luke rocked forward, Noah fumbled a finger down and the tiniest bit in to Luke's ass.

*****

Luke wailed, like a banshee, like a girl, like a horse giving birth, and any other ridiculously desperate simile that his fevered brain could produce. Noah deep throating him. He panted. Noah asking him to fuck his mouth, like he had the first time, and then, more panting, his finger, and the coming and, god Luke's legs hurt. A lot. But there was a warm hand on his ass and a finger kinda sorta breaching his asshole and somehow that and Noah's gorgeous mouth managed to keep him standing. The water acted like a cave around them, blocking out everything but ohmygod noahnoahnoahohmygodorgasm. There was nothing but this moment, right now, and Noah on his knees draining Luke dry. Jesus. Jesus. Still fucking coming all inside Noah. How was that even possible? Surely his brain, his soul, every writerly thought he'd ever had or would have was in the process of being swallowed inside the hottest, wettest, softest, slickest mouth ever to have existed.

He thought his fingers might break against Noah's scalp. He stared down into impossible blue eyes lined with drops of water, saw lust blown pupils and the most lascivious lips. Luke stretched his hand, ran a fingertip across Noah's mouth. His stomach flipped as Noah sucked at his skin. "Love your mouth." He had to get horizontal and soon before his legs gave out. How could he say that and not spoil things?

"Feeling's mutual." Noah stood and Luke was suddenly very aware that his boyfriend was taller than him. "Water's getting cold."

"Right." Luke continued to stare at Noah, not really registering the words. He lifted his hand up to rub a thumb over Noah's jaw. "You're so pretty."

Noah made a face. "Am not." He reached to turn the water off.

Luke frowned, knew this was important even in his fucked out, holy hell, die happy right now state. He grabbed Noah's arm before he left the shower. "The hell you're not. You're pretty if I say you are. You're perfect if I say you are. You're my fucking world if I say you are. Okay?" He yanked Noah hard against him, pulled skin from his collarbone behind his teeth, thought he almost tasted blood on his tongue. He fumbled blind until Noah's dick was in his hands. He swiped his thumb over the head, cupped Noah's balls with the other hand, found a slow steady rhythm that clashed with the goddamned desperate need to claim him. Luke managed to ease the constriction in his chest, ease his mouth into softer kisses. He licked up to Noah's jaw and tongued his way into his mouth. Noah's come splashed against their stomachs moments later. Luke sucked the taste of him and Noah's tongue into his mouth. "We should clean up and head to bed. I'm tired this time."

"Me too." Noah found another washcloth and rubbed come off both of them. He kissed Luke's stomach, and every muscle in Luke clenched. The clenching started a chain reaction of shivers down his spine and then he couldn't stop his legs from shaking like they're going to give out. Noah's eyes were on him. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Didn't want to screw things up," Luke whispered.

*****

Noah grabbed at Luke. It wasn't suave or gentle or any of the million things he wanted it to be, but he manhandled Luke into the bed and under the covers. He had the light off and one of the bottles of water open before he realized it.

"I'm not an invalid."

"I know." Noah tried to breathe, tried to calm the knocking of his heart. "It's just -" He put the bottle down and curled Luke's back into his chest. "How long did it take us to get here? And don't say six weeks. You being in the wheelchair was scary. When you first stood, but you still weren't feeling everything, a part of me wondered if I was never going to get to do what I just did. Even if I'd been jerking off to the idea before I ever kissed you." He pressed a finger to Luke's lips. "So, when I see you and you're shaking and I think maybe this is all a dream, I panicked, y'know." He rubbed Luke's hip, massaged at his thigh. "I can't go back. We can't go back. What happened tonight changes everything. I thought it wouldn't. I told myself a million times that I'd be cool, wasn't sure you even wanted me. Now that I know, we can't go back to the farm and pretend this isn't going on."

"I know." Luke kissed Noah's fingers. "I don't want that." He laughed. "What I do want is to pin you up against the barn, bend you over hay bales, pull you into the cellar and drop to my knees. I've got a list at home. It's long." He twined his legs with Noah's. "Can we sleep now?"

"Yeah," Noah kissed him. "We have until noon to check out."

 

 

_"You're the only thing that I love_  
It scares me more every day  
On my knees I think clearer"  
-Snow Patrol 


End file.
